Narcissism & Self-Sabotage VS. Intuitive Guidance & Self-Preservation

What’s the difference between Narcissism and Self-Sabotage vs. Intuitive Guidance and Self-Preservation?

This has been weighing heavily on me. More so now that I’m getting older and more comfortable with my authenticity and what it is that I want.  How I go about getting it is closely connected to what it is that I believe. I’m no stranger to being called a million and one rude and or plain-out disrespectful names. I’m used to being looked at in a light that can create feelings of uncertainty. But on the flip side, just as much as I’m accustomed to being labeled those negative things, I am also loved and admired for standing in my truth. I am celebrated for being different and or willing to talk about things that people shy away from and always willing to help.

So now that that’s said out loud and fresh in your mind, can a person heavily focused on self-improvement take it too far to the point of self-sabotage? And if a person appears to be self-sabotaging but progress and evolution still happen in their life because of those moves, can it still be considered self-sabotage? Or is it considered self-sabotage because the person or people doing the judging don’t relate or fully understand the methods that work for the “self-sabotaging” individual?

Could what appears to be narcissistic self-sabotaging traits, behaviors, really be intuitive guidance and self-preservation?

Here’s why I ask because all the moves I have made have been to set myself up for success. Whatever that success looks like for me at the moment. If something doesn’t feel right or shows patterns of not working, no matter how you try to rework it, I cut it out. I refuse to keep around or to participate in what ultimately causes me to have unnecessary stress. In my eyes, that is self-preservation, and to anyone on the receiving end, affected by the chop can look at it as self- sabotage.

Which one is wrong?

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If I hold all the secrets to the makings of me, who is to judge how I go about making those ends meet? If every person has a different contribution to the world, wouldn’t they have to discover that purpose by following the beat of their own drum?  And following the beat of that drum would cause disruption to things that want to remain the same. It would cause chaos to things that would love to remain hidden and forever unseen.

By simply following a path that is uncharted you will have to disrupt things. But if you feel pulled to go, shouldn’t you? If no one understands the calling on your life but you, who has the right to say what it is you do or don’t do being any good for you?

I’ve noticed patterns within myself. A duality that is mine that I love. But a duality that can be hard to understand and embrace by the ones who know of me or love me. I am focused on being the best me. The most Shameless me possible. And in order to do that I have to dive deep into me. Be honest with myself with the things that I see. I have to be fully capable of deciphering the feelings I feel. Conscious enough to know what actions I may take or haven’t taken towards another can be hurtful to them. And also very aware of what actions taken or untaken are hurtful to me.

What’s the wrong or right way about getting what it is you need in order to succeed? Is there a wrong or right way? What defines wrong? What defines right? Aren’t the right choices all just perspective and feelings and decisions that feel right for the individual? And isn’t it the opposite for things that are wrong?

Duality…. Light and dark. Jesus and Satan.. Yin and Yang…..good and evil…I have been digging into myself and observing my moves closely. Recording my feelings, my thoughts and reactions intently.

If everything we go through in this human experience is about perception. Then is there ever really a right or wrong answer to anything? Wouldn’t the right answer always just be what you want to go with in the moment that feels comfortable? And if you make a  decision that appears to be wrong to others, but in the long run it ends up being good. Can it still be considered narcissistic to have made that choice?

Or is it favored afterwards as being intuitively guided only because the outcome was favorable? Isn’t the labeling of your actions based solely on how you were perceived by others when you made it?

It’s time to open up more and be vulnerable about some thoughts. With “self-sabotage” and “self- preservation” on the table as topics of discussion I’m going to spend time talking with certain individuals about their opinions on this and I’ll come back with an update. I’ll air my findings on my next podcast episode.

What’s narcissistic and self-sabotaging vs. intuitive guidance and self-preservation?

If you have any opinions, please feel free to share.

I’m curious as hell to hear your thoughts.

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