Guide Me Through The Chaos

Guide me through the chaos that once was me.

As I sit in silence and let all of my feelings consume me, I realize that everything isn’t what it seems.

I’m distracted again.

I’ve gotten caught up in the whirlwinds of life.
The ENDLESS pursuit of proving myself right.
The tireless nights of working to make the vision of my intuition come to light.

Constantly digging and digging deeper into me to bring forth the forbidden fruit I so instinctually seek.

How have I become so manic?
So hard-pressed on wanting to have what I want and HEAVILY believing that no one can help me have it.

The animalistic need to be dominant.
The persistent need to stay on top of it.
I crave it.
I yearn for it.
I’ll bite.
I’ll scratch.
I’ll completely ghost those who interfere with my tireless pursuit of success.
I’ll run away.
I’ll hide.
I’ll fall back into nostalgia and dizzily seek refuge in minds that I remember once thinking alike.
And in the presence of those minds, I find that mine is nowhere in sight.
For nothing is the same.
Not even I.
I’ll fade away again, wondering in limbo, trying to find my light.
In seeking, I’ll realize that I long ago lost my sight.
I abandoned my true self again, seeking answers through the lens of my pride.

Guide me through the chaos that once was me, for I wish not to fall into the traps of old things.
Continue to renew my spirit and plant my feet.
Plant them firmly beneath me.
Guide one foot in front of the other until I see.

- KDB22